08 October 2008
Fanning the Phoenix Flame
By now, most of my family and friends know that I will be leaving my job at the end of February 2009. I have been with the same organization for seven years and while I’ve learned a lot on the job and I’ve absolutely benefitted from a workplace that values personal development and continuing education, the place was never a perfect fit for me. Not even close.
I stayed put despite regular emotional breakdowns where I agonized over whether I should quit or stick it out. I was absolutely determined to hang in there for the long haul. After all, the salary and benefits package was irresistibly generous. The golden handcuffs kept me settled longer than maybe I should have.
My latest meltdown was the most intense that I have ever experienced. I couldn’t see how I could continue living my life the way I was. The day-to-day of my job isn’t bad or dangerous or overly difficult (or: “challenging”… my least favourite euphemism) but it has a way of sucking the creativity, and on some days, the life force right out of me. My goal was to work a 9 – 5 job by day and to create by night. Some people can do it. Alan Cumyn did it. But it didn’t work for me.
As all of these thoughts rolled through my brain, a comparison emerged that first seemed strange but now seems so obvious. My job is like an OK boyfriend. Sure he is nice, treats me right, and there are less desirable fish in the sea, but what am I missing out on? How am I selling myself short by staying with him? Quitting my job is like breaking up with that mediocre boyfriend. We both deserve better.
Now as the gloomy global economic headlines swirl every which way we look, I have to admit that for a bit longer than a split second, I wondered if I was making the wrong decision; if my choice will end up hurting me in the long run.
History teachers always say that the past has a way of repeating itself unless you learn from it and move forward. This is how I know I’ve made the right decision. The love and support that I’m lucky to receive from Joe, my family, Joe’s family and all of our friends are how I know I’ve made the right decision. The adventures of my blog heroes who quit their corporate jobs to pursue their own creative paths are how I know I’ve made the right decision.
I’ve always loved and related to the idea of the Phoenix -- the mythical creature that dies engulfed in flames and later rises from the ashes. This spring, I will be the Phoenix emerging from the ashes of my former job to start a fresh new life.
xoxo
Erika.
I stayed put despite regular emotional breakdowns where I agonized over whether I should quit or stick it out. I was absolutely determined to hang in there for the long haul. After all, the salary and benefits package was irresistibly generous. The golden handcuffs kept me settled longer than maybe I should have.
My latest meltdown was the most intense that I have ever experienced. I couldn’t see how I could continue living my life the way I was. The day-to-day of my job isn’t bad or dangerous or overly difficult (or: “challenging”… my least favourite euphemism) but it has a way of sucking the creativity, and on some days, the life force right out of me. My goal was to work a 9 – 5 job by day and to create by night. Some people can do it. Alan Cumyn did it. But it didn’t work for me.
As all of these thoughts rolled through my brain, a comparison emerged that first seemed strange but now seems so obvious. My job is like an OK boyfriend. Sure he is nice, treats me right, and there are less desirable fish in the sea, but what am I missing out on? How am I selling myself short by staying with him? Quitting my job is like breaking up with that mediocre boyfriend. We both deserve better.
Now as the gloomy global economic headlines swirl every which way we look, I have to admit that for a bit longer than a split second, I wondered if I was making the wrong decision; if my choice will end up hurting me in the long run.
History teachers always say that the past has a way of repeating itself unless you learn from it and move forward. This is how I know I’ve made the right decision. The love and support that I’m lucky to receive from Joe, my family, Joe’s family and all of our friends are how I know I’ve made the right decision. The adventures of my blog heroes who quit their corporate jobs to pursue their own creative paths are how I know I’ve made the right decision.
I’ve always loved and related to the idea of the Phoenix -- the mythical creature that dies engulfed in flames and later rises from the ashes. This spring, I will be the Phoenix emerging from the ashes of my former job to start a fresh new life.
xoxo
Erika.
